Driving in Jakarta

Driving in Jakarta can be quite stressful for those not new to it. Often appearing to have a lack of road rules, it is not for the unwary.

YouTube - Jakarta driving - roundabouts and bikes.3gp

YouTube - Jakarta driving - red & white flags line the streets.3gp

YouTube - Jakarta driving - pedestrians walk all over the road.3gp

YouTube - Jakarta driving - off the main road- motorbikes and vendors.

These driving definitions may be of some help, originally published on 4/11/1988 in the San Francisco Chronicle, written by Jon Carroll.

THE ROAD. Includes not only the paved portion of the highway, but also what we might call “the verge”, “the curb”, “the sidewalk”, “the front yard”, “the roadside restaurant”, and “the monastery”. The paved portion of the roadway is generally one lane wide. Not one lane in each direction: one lane.

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RESPECT. All animals are granted the greatest respect in Asia. It is presumed that being highly evolved creatures, chickens and dogs and the like know how to sidestep a Mitsubishi going 78 mph on a for-shrouded road during a national religious holiday.

This same position of honor is granted to small children, cripples, men with 30 pounds of hay on their heads, unattended oxcarts and elderly women in mystic trances. Slowing or swerving to avoid these beings would cause them dishonor.

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DISHONOR. Getting from morning to evening while remaining in the same incarnation.

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LANES. These colorful white and yellow markings wish a hearty “Selamat datang” (Welcome) or “Hi!” to every traveler. They have no other function.

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PASSING. The national sport of Asian drivers. Observant motorists may encounter the vertical triple (passing three vehicles in one acceleratory movement,) the horizontal triple ( passing a vehicle that itself is in the process of passing a vehicle,) or even the rare double-double (passing a vehicle at precisely the same time that another vehicle, coming in the other direction, is also engaged in the act of passing.)

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TAILGATING. What to do when not passing.

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BEING PASSED. An insult not to be endured. The greater the differential between your vehicle (say, a broken tricycle) and the passing vehicle (say, a Boeing 747,) the greater the potential loss of prestige. The owner of the less powerful vehicle must always do everything in his/her power to thwart the attempt to overtake.

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SEATBELTS. Absolutely unnecessary. Not only are they not worn, they are not even provided. Passengers are fully protected by the horn (see below)

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LIGHTS. Rapidly blinking the headlights can mean many things, including “OK to pass now,” “dangerous to pass now,” or “may you find the thread of gold in the linen of existence.” It takes years, sometimes entire lifetimes, to learn this subtle and intriguing intuitive nonverbal communication skill. Generally, however, you have about three seconds.

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THE HORN. When sounded loudly and frequently, the horn sets up an invisible energy barrier protecting the vehicle and its inhabitants from all harm. The faster the vehicle is going, the better the horn works. This is the central concept of Asian motoring.

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ACCIDENTS. Rare. Usually the result of a malfunctioning horn.