Rugby World Cup 2011 Calendar Downloads

Outlook

Download PDF calendar

Google Calendar

Excel Spreadsheet

The Ashes Cricket Jokes

Boxing Day at the MCG. Australia's lowest ever score against England in an Ashes series.

A guy walks into a brothel, and says:
'I am a bit kinky- how much for total humiliation?'
The madam replies $60
'Wow, what do I get for that?' he says.
'A baggy green cap and an Australian cricket shirt'.


What do you call an Australian who can handle a bat?
A Vet!
Ho Ho.


What is the difference between Cinderella and the Australian cricketers?
Cinderella knew when to leave the ball


And why isn`t there anybody drinking bottles of wine in Oz right now ?
Because they don`t have any openers..


Q what do you get if you cross the Australian cricket team with an Oxo cube?
A A laughing stock!


Q. What is the height of optimism?
A. An Australian batsman putting on sunscreen.


Q. What would Jimmy Anderson be if he was Australian?
A. An all rounder.


Q. What is the main function of the Australian coach?
A. To transport the team from the hotel to the ground.


Q. Why don't Australian fielders need pre tour travel injections?
A. Because they never catch anything.


Q. What's the Australian version of LBW?
A. Lost, Beaten and Walloped.


Q. What do you call an Australian with 100 runs against his name?
A. A bowler.


Q. What's the most proficient form of footwork displayed by Ponting?
A. The walk back to the pavilion.


Q. Who has the easiest job in the Australian squad?
A. The guy who removes the red ball marks from the bats.


Q. What do Australian batsmen and drug addicts have in common?
A. Both spend most of their time wondering where their next score will come
from.


Q. Why are Australian cricketers cleverer than Houdini?
A. Because they can get out without even trying.


Q. What does Ryan Harris put in his hands to make sure the next ball almost
always takes a wicket?
A. A bat

School Trip Tragedy

2 bodies have been recovered after a flash flood. The British international School were attending an outdoor pursuits program when the flood happened.
(Antara Photo/Jafkhairi)Cameron Bates

The British International School on Wednesday confirmed that two bodies, including that of a Year 8 student, had been recovered after a flash flood during a field trip in the Puncak mountains a day earlier.

BIS admissions director Lee Bretherick said the bodies were still being formally identified.

Antara news agency reported the body of Outward Bound instructor Arpan Palindungan Ade, 30, had been recovered in the Cisadane River. It also identified the missing student as a South Korean national.

West Bogor Police Chief Hadi Tjahyono said 10 police and military personnel had assisted in the search along the riverbanks.

“The search focused on two spots in Bogor and West Bogor districts,” Hadi said, adding that the weather had been unpredictable and the rain had caused a sudden rise in the river.

Ade’s body was taken to the Indonesian Red Cross Hospital in Bogor.

West Bogor Police chief detective Budi Santoso said the victim had been found naked and with extensive bruising.

“It’s possible he sustained his head wound and other bruises after being dashed against the rocks when he was swept up by the current,” Budi said.

A statement on the school Web site from its CEO and principal, Peter Derby-Crook, said: “A group of students under the supervision of teachers and an experienced guide were caught by rising water levels while hiking through the Gunung Gede area.

All the students and teachers were able to avoid the situation except one student who ran into difficulties. The guide immediately assisted the student but both were separated from the group by the force of the water and swept downstream.”

The other students have returned home and are being offered counseling.

The BIS statement added: “The British International School regularly conducts residential trips as part of the course work for its students to different locations in Indonesia, and over many years these trips have been free from any serious incidents.

“This month’s residential trip to Pancawati, West Java, for year 8 students, was organized in conjunction with Lembur Pancawati Outbound, who the school have been using since 2002 with an excellent safety record.”

Sailing Terms

This new T-shirt should help you learn your sailing terms!

Diving courses, Liveaboard in Sunda straights

http://www.kristalkleardive.com/

I want to go diving again, I havent been for a number of years, which is crazy considering that I live in one of the best diving places in the world. I just found this place, so that my better half can get her licence also.

A basic certificate is called an Open Water course, takes two half days in the swimming pool plus a weekend in the thousand islands. Not bad for $500 or so.

Then we can join on a trip on the Cecilia Ann, :)

And trips up to Manado for some of the best diving in the world

Teachers VS Students Touch Rugby Official Match Report

Teachers VS Students Touch Rugby Official Match Report

Conditions were perfect for this long anticipated showdown between youth and experience. A cool wind and zero humidity ensured that perspiration never impacted on ball handling and player skills could really shine through (Even butter fingers Liam managed to hold on to a few balls).So yeah thanks to the weather. The match was marred only by the late showing of the Barbarians captain. Yes, the Anzacs had to start the fight without the full Pomie contingent, bloody typical..Lest We Forget. There was much talk going into this truly international affair and it didn't fail to deliver. I even heard the sweet sound of sheep late in the second half which was a highlight for me especially. Beautiful animals that they are. It didn't take the Indonesian teachers long to pick up the intricacies of the game and to stamp their mark on the match. Final Score: 20-10 to the Teachers..

Cheers for fronting up, especially those who hadn't played before ..the students really enjoyed it.

The Jakarta Schools Football is about to start again... http://twitter.com/JakartaFootball

Bangkok Sixes

The Jakarta Gonads gave it a good crack, the cricket was excellent craic, now back at work waiting for the next tournament ! More info here. http://www.thailandsixes.com/

FOR SALE – TROPHY DISPLAY CABINET

FOR SALE – DISPLAY CABINET, one of the most elegant and functional display cabinets currently on the market.

Features
Fine timber details
4 leadlight options
4 side access doors (there is maximum frontal display)
Adjustable shelves are extra deep to accommodate large items
Halogen down lights
Mirror back with glass shelves provide max illumination of collectables from top to bottom.

To give indication of size of the Cabinet it previously held the following:
The Ashes Trophy
Tri Nations Trophy
Super-14 Trophy
Rugby League World Cup
Rugby Union World Cup
International Rules Trophy
Rugby 7
Davis Cup
Hockey World Championship Trophy
and the
Bledisloe Cup.
2008-2009 SA / Aust Test
All these trophies are now overseas and the Cabinet is excess to requirements.

To make an offer call R Stuart, R Ponting, S Mortlock or P. Fitzsimons who once commented “…the Australian Cabinet is groaning under the weight of all the trophies!”

They can be contacted on: 1800-LOST-THE-LOT

my boat

this is the life aint it?

Playing Rugby in Balikpapan

French froggy frogs get beaten 10-0 playing Rugby union against my Aussie rules football team!

Did I mention the friendly rugby game that we put on, aussie rules blokes vs the french bastards? and that we won 10-0 !

Contact Sports: Fun or too dangerous ?

I was playing football (aussie style) over the weekend. Towards the end of the game, one of the fellows injured himself, I was nearby, didnt quite see what happened, I think he just fell funny.

However, he didn't get up, so wandered over to help, his foot was at a 90 degree angle sideways, the tibia bone pointing up. Ouch. It looked like one of those horrible worst sporting injuries emails or youtube videos. (out of respect for the guy we didnt take pictures of him.)

It did get me thinking though, over the years, I've seen a number of damaged knees, torn or stretched hamstrings, a team mate had his head caved in (needed 3 plates in it i think) a few dislocated shoulders, broken nose, and a few concussions.

Makes me wonder, is playing footy (or rugby) worth it? I enjoy the sport, I enjoy playing, I enjoy the contact. But makes me worry about getting a serious injury.

Perhaps I should just work on my golf or cricket instead....

Junior AFL footy in Indonesia

Junior footy surge in Indonesia

12:19 PM Wed 12 November, 2008

AFL in Indonesia

Chris Bandy has been in the job as Head of Australian Football Development in Indonesia for a year, after an Australian Youth Ambassadors for Development grant allowed for the introduction of Australian Football into Indonesian Schools.

The initial results have been highly encouraging, and it is expected that a fully-functional junior competition will be set up in Jakarta next year. worldfootynews.com recently interviewed Chris on his adventures in what is a challenging, but most interesting and rewarding environment.

WFN: Well Chris, what is you footy background and how did you get into this?

I am from Perth and have played football since I was six years old. I started with the Scarborough junior football club and moved on to the Marist junior football club where I finished my junior career. After that I moved to Claremont football club in the WAFL, played Colts for three years and seniors for two.

As one of those strange serendipitous things in life, through my university studies, I had to take a year off from football to participate in a student exchange program in Yogyakarta, Indonesia where I studied at an Indonesian university and taught English for a year.

It was during that time that the then coach of the Bintangs, Matt Stephens, contacted me to come and play with the team in Jakarta. From that moment I was a Bintang and was lucky enough to participate in the 2005 Asian Championships in Manila and that is still one of my fondest football memories.

Until you play football in Asia, and participate in an Asian Championships you really don’t appreciate the extent of the game here, and the passion possessed by the participants.

The Bintangs had previously had some reasonably successful, though piecemeal development programmes, and were looking to put a more formal programme in place. Whilst I was interested in this I had to return home and finish my university degree. The Bintangs hadn’t given up however, and when a role with the Australian Youth Ambassadors for Development (AYAD) came up and the Bintangs nominated me as their preferred candidate, I accepted and here I am.

WFN: The Australia Indonesia Institute, Bintangs link, how did that come about?

Given that the largest Australian Embassy outside of Australia is based in Jakarta, there is no shortage of diplomats and aid workers that either play with or are associated with the football club. A proposal was developed by the Bintangs to the Australia Indonesia Institute (AII) for a grant to develop the game in Indonesian schools.

Whilst the full proposal was not approved the AII did accept a lesser proposal which included a grant and supported the club’s application for a full-time youth ambassador from Australia through the AYAD program.

WFN: What’s been done so far, where are we today?

The first thing we did, we were able to get on-side three Indonesian development coaches, Boy, Ardy and Rian, and with the help of these native Indonesians we have entered and conducted clinics in nearly 50 schools and had almost 6000 kids, boys and girls, exposed to the game. From this we have obtained a core group of between 200-300 children who regularly come to training at various grounds we’ve hired in the greater Jakarta area. Signs are promising for the establishment of a fully functioning schools based league by the end of next year.

Aside from the Indonesian component and Indonesian schools which comprises 90% of the work we undertake, we’ve also been involved in coaching an under 16 team from the British International School who play under the moniker of the ANZ Jakarta Bulldogs.

They recently travelled to Singapore with the senior team, where they won the inaugural Asian Under 16 Championships. Comprising players from England, Ireland, Scotland, Wales, Indonesia, Finland and of course Australia, this is yet another way of expanding our game globally.

The only issue with these lads is they have do not have enough competition. Their enthusiasm is tremendous, they just need to be able to play more often and that is going to be one of our challenges.

We’re in the process of putting a new proposal to AII and it is hoped that we may be able to secure more funding from them for another year.

WFN: I can imagine the challenges going into the Indonesian school system. How have you managed to penetrate that?

On the one hand Indonesian kids, boys and girls are screaming out for the opportunity to play sports. I believe sports and physical culture comes naturally to all kids on the planet. So getting kids interested is the least difficult part. The biggest challenge is the language barrier, however, due to my own extensive time in country and with the help of three full-time Indonesian Football Development Officers, this hasn’t been a major issue for us.

Moving forward, we will need to look at getting training material, videos, booklets etc printed or dubbed in Bahasa Indonesia, and that is one area for potential sponsorship.

Having said that, development of a junior competition isn’t difficult from a participation perspective, it is however from a monetary one as the majority of these kids are from poor socio-economic backgrounds and as a result there is a real opportunity for sponsorship, which given the way these kids take to the game, and the fact that they are the nation’s future, I am sure will be repaid in full many times over.

WFN: What about Auskick?

Auskick is a great thing but is more geared to the younger kids. Auskick has been taking place for over two years here with ex-pat kids but due to the transient nature of the ex-pat family, numbers have fluctuated. We’re hoping by next year with an increased emphasis on junior development, the next footy season produces a lot more national and foreign kids, enjoying Auskick and learning the game.

After our recent grand final function there was a lot of interest and it is hoped this transfers into solid participation for the club. Again this represents a great sponsorship opportunity.

WFN: And has it been fun? Where do you see it going?

For me, the greatest challenge and the greatest satisfaction has been getting something going from scratch. I’ve had great support from the Bintangs and AII and without that we’d struggle to maintain any sort of programme. We are pleased with the success so far, but see it as a launching pad for a programme that I feel will not only be highly successful and beneficial in Indonesia but will also see our game grow internationally.

All we need is a chance to make this happen. We have the infrastructure in place, the people are willing and the programme will be pursued. Some committed sponsorship would definitely assist, and of course we would like to get both credibility and support from the AFL. Whilst I recognise the AFL is focused on getting things going in South Africa as a priority, let’s face it, Indonesia has a bigger population and is right on our doorstep.

My personal feelings at this point are ones of accomplishment but also anticipation for the future. If we maintain a positive mindset and realise the potential of this untapped market the future is unlimited

WFN: Within South East Asia the Bintangs have always been at the forefront of youth development. Most of the other countries are now starting Auskick and Junior programmes. What advice would you give them?

My advice is to have a crack. If you don’t give it a go you’ll never know what could’ve been. At least if you fail trying something you can’t die wondering. If you think there is even remote interest in a junior program, put out some feelers because I dare say there are plenty of blokes like me who’d jump at the chance to do what I do. Our vision is to use Australian football to promote health and fitness, self-esteem and give children the opportunity to play our great game and learn more about our culture.

Sport is a great leveller and there are no such things as class, poverty, social hierarchy etc and as a result, everyone is equal whether you’re from an international school or a poor third world country. It is what I love about our game, anyone can achieve greatness no matter your background. We’re just trying to give these kids a chance to experience a sport a lot of us grow up taking for granted.

WFN: Thank you very much, Chris and we will follow developments in Indonesia with interest. Hopefully, the other established clubs in Asia will pick up the cudgel and it won't be long before we will see international carnivals for Auskick and junior football playing a major role in the Asian Football Calendar.

Source: Graeme Carey, www.worldfootynews.com

Exclusive to AFL BigPond Network

Cricket in Puncak - mountains outside of Jakarta.

Global Jaya Cricket Team Report

SGJ entered a team into the International Maddogs Cricket 6’s tournament, played on a very well maintained purpose built cricket ground in the imposing hills and leafy plantations of puncak.

Despite some difficulties in getting a team together due to work commitments, transportation problems, early morning rising issues and the flu, SGJ scrapped together some students, teachers, and a cricket mad librarian, with the addition of a couple of ring-ins in the form of a sinetron star and some local street kids we were a competitive side.

Travelling remained an issue, a certain 16 year old, or was it 17 year old? strike bowler slept in, not answering his phone and having avoided giving out his house number, the cricketers resorted to driving around his complex contemplating knocking on every door, or just shouting out ‘Mark, Maaaaaaaaark, Marky? Luckily, Chief organizer and navigator, Bu Keyren had a better idea; just ask the sapam’s, even then having found his house we were told he was not home! (by his little sister, clearly trying to buy him a few more minutes of well needed sleep.) Fortunately, our coach and captain, has 4 little sisters himself and just said “BS, go and wake him up, NOW!”

Some speedy driving had as arrive at puncak just on time. Alas, the opposition team were the ones who had given us a map of the ground location, should we have been suspicious? An hour and a half, several tours of 4wheel drive roads (poor low-slung BMW) and some interesting turn arounds (think narrow road, cliff side, and 16 point turns) later we were rescued by a bule wife returning from the ground.

A rearranged schedule allowed us time for a few warm ups from the younger and keener members of the team while the older members headed straight for fluid replenishments. WE won the toss, and having a very strong bowling side (in comparison to our batting strength) elected to bowl.

Strike bowler, Mark, lives up to his name getting out their dangerous opening batsman with a superb first ball, cutting in to smash his off and middle stump out of the ground. The remaining balls restricted the opposition to a low score with very tidy opening over.

Bring on Mark II! He gains us a second wicket, then another, the captain brings the field right in, applying pressure for the hat-trick, a slightly slower and looser ball tricks the batsmen into hitting it high and straight to a catcher in a deep backwards square position. Cheers all round as Mark gains his hat-trick, Maddogs were in tatters now, and it was only the second over. A couple of dot balls, and with the final ball of his over cleans up the last of the surviving Maddogs.

First innings complete in 2 overs, we had hardly worked up a sweat. We needed to chase 12 runs. Mark and Liam opened the batting, a single and a few boundaries had us close until Mark lost his wicket, Sledge was facing, planning a big hit to win the game in style was thwarted with a mix up with in the number of runs required, thus letting a legside wide win us the game instead.

The next and last game of the pool, was against the jungle team, don’t let the name fool you, this was a competitive side. We opened the bowling again, and although the heroics of a 4 wicket haul in a single over were not repeated, Mark and Mark did pick us up a couple of wickets. Sledge, no doubt dazed combination of the success of the previous win, fading in the heat of the day and a lack of liquids? managed another record, 6 consecutive leg side wides, (each of which cost us 2 extra runs) apologizing to the team each time!

The remaining bowlers learned that they should do as the captain says not as he does and steadied the ship, though our wicket keeper/Libarian discovered that the job is a lot harder when the bowlers aint hitting the wickets, cos you have to stop the ball, though in fairness, he only let a couple through to the boundary. A fine display of keeping and fielding, was nto enough as we still needed 63 to win! (the 2^nd highest score of the day, thus far!)

Some slight changes to the line up, to accommodate slightly stiffer batsmen, Mark, Yoko, Mark and Sledge all contributed runs to the board, but with several wickets falling we still required 12 runs in the last over, unable to get the ball in the air for boundaries, the remaining batsmen decided the only way to win was run, and run they did. The opposition panicked, a couple of wild overthrows, allowed them to run 5 on one occasion. The target looked closer, 3 balls to go, 3 runs needed, a combination of superb bowling and fielding stopped some great balls, that should have been boundaries! Suddenly the last ball, 3 runs needed, 2 runs was all we could get.

The opposition cheered until they realized that the score on the board was the target, not their score, we had a tie! A count back of lost wickets had Global Jaya as pool champions! We were now due to play in the semi finals, some controversial lunch timing decisions, meant that we were forced to snack on rabbit food and play on empty stomachs,

We tried our best but were clearly out classed, some tactical changes in the bowling line up, did not help us restrict their score as much as we would have hoped, the opening batsmen tore apart our lineup, though Dick should have scored more than 20 off sledge. (he had nothing!)

Facing an imposing target of 80 runs, the openers Mark and Yoko, just could not get the ball in the air often enough and with long grass all over the filed were unable to reach the boundaries often enough to charge down the total. However, they played well and neither lost their wicket, another success story as far as I am concerned!

Well down on those who played, thanks to our wonderful supporters, Keyren and Otin, Globaljaya team will be putting on our pads again for the Jakarta 6’s in early November, and are definitely a team to watch!

Driving in Jakarta

Driving in Jakarta can be quite stressful for those not new to it. Often appearing to have a lack of road rules, it is not for the unwary.

YouTube - Jakarta driving - roundabouts and bikes.3gp

YouTube - Jakarta driving - red & white flags line the streets.3gp

YouTube - Jakarta driving - pedestrians walk all over the road.3gp

YouTube - Jakarta driving - off the main road- motorbikes and vendors.

These driving definitions may be of some help, originally published on 4/11/1988 in the San Francisco Chronicle, written by Jon Carroll.

THE ROAD. Includes not only the paved portion of the highway, but also what we might call “the verge”, “the curb”, “the sidewalk”, “the front yard”, “the roadside restaurant”, and “the monastery”. The paved portion of the roadway is generally one lane wide. Not one lane in each direction: one lane.

-

RESPECT. All animals are granted the greatest respect in Asia. It is presumed that being highly evolved creatures, chickens and dogs and the like know how to sidestep a Mitsubishi going 78 mph on a for-shrouded road during a national religious holiday.

This same position of honor is granted to small children, cripples, men with 30 pounds of hay on their heads, unattended oxcarts and elderly women in mystic trances. Slowing or swerving to avoid these beings would cause them dishonor.

-

DISHONOR. Getting from morning to evening while remaining in the same incarnation.

-

LANES. These colorful white and yellow markings wish a hearty “Selamat datang” (Welcome) or “Hi!” to every traveler. They have no other function.

-

PASSING. The national sport of Asian drivers. Observant motorists may encounter the vertical triple (passing three vehicles in one acceleratory movement,) the horizontal triple ( passing a vehicle that itself is in the process of passing a vehicle,) or even the rare double-double (passing a vehicle at precisely the same time that another vehicle, coming in the other direction, is also engaged in the act of passing.)

-

TAILGATING. What to do when not passing.

-

BEING PASSED. An insult not to be endured. The greater the differential between your vehicle (say, a broken tricycle) and the passing vehicle (say, a Boeing 747,) the greater the potential loss of prestige. The owner of the less powerful vehicle must always do everything in his/her power to thwart the attempt to overtake.

-

SEATBELTS. Absolutely unnecessary. Not only are they not worn, they are not even provided. Passengers are fully protected by the horn (see below)

-

LIGHTS. Rapidly blinking the headlights can mean many things, including “OK to pass now,” “dangerous to pass now,” or “may you find the thread of gold in the linen of existence.” It takes years, sometimes entire lifetimes, to learn this subtle and intriguing intuitive nonverbal communication skill. Generally, however, you have about three seconds.

-

THE HORN. When sounded loudly and frequently, the horn sets up an invisible energy barrier protecting the vehicle and its inhabitants from all harm. The faster the vehicle is going, the better the horn works. This is the central concept of Asian motoring.

-

ACCIDENTS. Rare. Usually the result of a malfunctioning horn.

Cricket in Myanmar 2007 - the return trip!

This time it was a 3 way tournament, SIngapore/Phuket combined team (AKA whining sooky sooky lala's), Siam CC and Irrawaddy CC.

we came 2nd....

Bogor - the city of rain!

Bogor, about an hour south of Jakarta is known as the city of rain, well it was raining the weekend that I went there. However, it was quite refreshing after the smog and heat of Jakarta.

A mosque being built near Bogor.

Watch out for the traffic, but the locals find it a good source of captive customers.

The botanical gardens in Bogor are right in the centre of the city, and very beautiful.


Playing some golf, fantastic veiws.
In the foothills of an old volcano.

Hanging Rock New Years Racing Day!

Well, not exactly Asia, but Australia. Visited Hanging Rock for the new years day races. A picnic, in beltingly warm weather (over 40 degrees).

But still good fun, we won on two of the horses, (a good Aussie tradition) and afterwards wander around the rock as well.

I'd explained the story of "picnic at hanging rock" already to K, so she was a little nervous.... ;)

The climb to the summit was hot and exhausting, but the views from the top were worth it!

Jakarta Bintags vs Malaysia Warriors, what a wet day!

We hosted the Malaysian team to come over and play some footy (AFL). There was a game before between 2 under 18's teams; the British International School team and the Depok (locals) team. The sun was belting down, and most of the blokes were busy applying sunscreen, by the time we started our warm up it was beginning to rain a little.

In the third quarter we actually had to cease play for about 10 minutes due to some close hitting lightening, by the end of the game the field was flooding!



And about 40 minutes later the sun come out!

Green Parrots play cricket 6's in penang again!